Del Café

I write to you this morning from one of my favorite cafes, but my thoughts are heavily set near my FAVORITE cafe: Cafe Connection in Arequipa, Peru. I have been back in the USofA for one week now. I'm sorry it has taken so long to follow up with you. I've wanted to write but I haven't known precisely what would be appropriate to share.

The final weeks of the internship had highs and lows: physically, emotionally, spiritually, personally, interpersonally, and just about every other "-ally" you could think of. In my previous post I mentioned that reality hit when the Harding University students left. At this point, we felt what it was like to say goodbye to our friends of 2-weeks, and we dreaded even more saying goodbye to our friends and family of what would be 9-weeks when our time in Peru had finally come to a close.

Saying goodbyes so gradually and knowing in your mind that this is the "last" of everything you've come to love is like tearing off a Band-Aid.....s-l-o-w-l-y. And so, about one week out from our departure date, I was prepared to go home...I had grown tired of the lingering sting.

After 3 flights, 24 hours of travel, and too many goodbyes, I was graciously welcomed to Oklahoma by three of my best friends who picked me up from the airport and offered long-anticipated hugs +PLUS+ a bundle of balloons! How blessed am I to want to be everywhere I've been? They were eager to hear about my trip, and I was equally excited to hear about what I had missed in their lives for the past two months. When I finally made it to my grandma's house (where I am currently living until school starts) I understood that I had a lot of catching up to do. Let me explain.

Boarding my first flight back to the states, I recorded a video. I didn't want to leave Peru, but I had to understand that the time had come to go back and apply what I had learned. As I lay my head on my pillow in Oklahoma after a long and tearful journey "home," I felt the responsibility heavy on my heart: I could not come back and pick up life as normal here. A changed person must act changed. The trick is re-engaging in a place that seems not to have changed much in your absence.

Struggling to see through the fountains my eyes had become, I read some of the post-mission follow up material given to us by our missionaries. Just because our feet are back on native soil doesn't mean the experience has ended, nor does it declare the end of what can (and should) be learned. Yes, the traveling is over, but the journey will continue.

This part of the learning curve is steep. I find myself wanting to reconnect to the *abundantly blessed life* I live here while simultaneously fighting to hold onto the *RICH-ness* of where I have just been. I say "fighting" because it is a struggle. If I don't fight for balance between the two, I will undoubtedly lose the impact of one or the other.

*abundantly blessed life* and *RICH-ness*
I am in no way talking about money or materials. In both cases, I mean things not seen or physically defined: friendships, laughs, forgiveness, lessons, opportunities...I think you understand.

I will continue writing as I process and gain understanding from my time spent in South America. Thank you so much for reading and for your prayers along the journey. May we all be humbled and become wise in the wisdom of the Lord as we live out the Good News of His Kingdom!

Where do we go from here?

Today has been a day of tears. Reality is making itself known in that we will not be here in Arequipa forever. For two weeks we were blessed to host a group of 16 Harding University students. Arequipa was one of a few stops during their summer missions internship. They left this morning, headed for Cuzco, and soon after, to the USA.

We are now back to "normal" which includes our final language and cultures classes, our last house church meetings, final morning runs with my Mission Mom, ultimate nights watching the Cosby show with the family, and, well...numerous lasts. 

Today in my language classes, I kept having these weird flashbacks to elementary school and to high school. I can't explain it, but it was like a superhuman awareness I had for my past... REALLY strange. The strongest emotions I've ever felt came back into my present conscious this morning, compounded with the sadness I already feel for leaving this place. 

It made me wonder: why does God gives us the ability to feel things so strongly? Why are we able to taste pieces of Heaven? It has occurred to me that unless we are being intentional about who we are around, we will be physically separated. And, even when intentions are to be together, sometimes circumstances create distance. 

So where do we go from here?

The internship officially ends one week from tomorrow. I feel that God has begun teaching me another lesson titled "How to live at home." How many times have we sung songs: this world is not my home, I'm just a'passin through...or...this is my temporary home, it's not where I belong... I am learning that this is something I never really believed, it's only something I have said.

God is teaching me to live in Him rather than in South America or in the United States. He is whispering: 'Make your home in ME, yearn only to return to ME.' I haven't learned yet, I think this is why I'm still in tears. Please pray that satan will not cloud the vision God has opened up to us through his love and his forethought plan for His Kingdom. 

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Corinthians 4:18

A Thousand+ Words

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words. I couldn't write all that has happened, so for those of you visual learners I would like to share a few snapshots of the first 1/2 of my time here in Peru.
(Woah, I can't believe it's already been one month!)

Gems

There are in our lives gems. We find them unprepared, unexpectedly, undeservedly. They are gifts from a source outside of ourselves, and we are the blessed recipients. I have been reflecting on these gems in my life.

A couple nights ago I had gone to the Café before returning to my Peruvian family's home. I have become good friends with several of the Café workers, in particular a young man named Emilio. He is a member of our house church and a good friend of the missionaries here. Adelita (my sister in the host family) had assured me it was safe to walk back to our house that night, but Emilio insisted on walking me there. Along the way, we talked about important things the way good friends do.

When we got to the house, Emilio kissed me on the cheek (a Latin custom for greeting and sending off), and said goodbye. One thing I love about Emilio is that he always leaves me with a command that will benefit me. Some examples are: Kayla, "estudia"="study" / "tranquila"="be at peace" / "cuidate"="take care of yourself"...

As I said above, Emilio and I spend time talking about things that matter. As he walked me to my house, we shared struggles, thoughts, and reflections. I confessed to him that I was really uneasy about a few things that day ... not even so much uneasy, more so just overwhelmed.

The only explanation I can find for what it's like to come upon a gem in this life is the overwhelming understanding that this (fill in the blank) is simply a gift: be it a person, a circumstance, or a revelation.  I cannot put into words what makes someone a gem. If you can, please respond with your thoughts.

My time here is SO rich. I feel like an unschooled learner who just walked into Österreichische Nationalbibliothek (known as the greatest library in the world) At times I fear I am unequipped to take it all in.

As he said goodbye that night, he left me with the instruction "descansa"="rest". I took it to mean "rest from your fear." {{Sidenote: Let me say, as far as safety goes I feel safe in this place. I don't feel afraid being here, but usually the fears we wear as shackles are not tangible at all.}}  As he turned to walk back to the Café Connection, he disappeared into the crowd. My eyes continued up the hill where I saw a sea of lights. In this city of nearly 1 million people, I was reminded how small we are. I saw the sparkling lights and I thanked God for gems in my life.

So gems...
As I stared into the lights of the city from my rooftop that night, I couldn't get past the realization that I had been gifted with another gem. Thank you God for the gems in our lives. Those people, circumstances, teachings from You, are GIFTS that we don't deserve.

I don't know how to qualify a gem, but this causes me to reason that you cannot describe something from another world with the words of this one. I am convinced there are pieces of heaven on this earth...I like to call them gems.

On what are you basing your confidence?

God repeats this phrase throughout the Old Testament when he asks his people why they fell? 'Why did you get distracted? What made you put your hope in that? Why did you put all your eggs in that basket?' Ok, not a direct quote, but this is a big deal! Where are we putting our confidence?

In the last couple days I have noticed that my confidence was misplaced. Today I caught myself feeling useless, inadequate, unskilled...I felt lack of confidence. Then I realized I have definitely had confidence, but I have put it in all the wrong places. This is my confession.

It turns out that when we misplace our confidence, we also misplace our hope and a bunch of other things...like our hearts, or our brains. Call it addiction, idolatry, pursuits...but no matter what, I would ask you to locate your confidence! Take an inventory: what do you hope in each morning when the sun shimmies its way through your blinds? And what confidences do you kiss goodnight until you can return to them in the mornings?
(Ok sorry, not trying to preach, just some thoughts)

On another note:
Thursday we began our homestay - each intern has been welcomed into the home of various Peruvian friends for a few days. My family is wonderful! I have a mom and a brother and sister... also a man who I've never met, but he lives in our house? My sister says it's ok :) Today we had a normal schedule as far as classes go, but tomorrow we will be living the life of a Peruvian. I will shadow my mom, Adela, as we wake up tomorrow morning at 4:30am to buy and prepare vegetables to sell at the market. I will let you know what I learn from this wonderful experience. How many people get to do this on the weekends???

"The good news is..."

Sometimes I like to start my sentences with this statement: "The good news is..." even when there is seemingly no good news at all. It forces positive thought and thanksgiving.

Last night we had a "PJ party" or "una piajama" as the Peruvians call it. GIRLS ONLY party: we sang karaoke and danced the night away. Singing and dancing interwoven with laughter, I saw the beautiful family of God in the wee hours of the morning as I listened to the voices of my sisters in Christ. Those of you who know me might know that singing is not exactly my forté...I get shy to open my mouth in a song. The good news is: my sisters in Christ could care less about my pitch or tone: forgetting talent level and language barriers, we are in sweet harmony because of our King.

This morning myself and my co-interns went sight seeing with one of our good Peruvian friends Emilia. We saw views that would prove my camera to be a fool in any attempt to capture them: volcanoes, rivers, skies, natives, clear springs, airs, heights, depths, distances. While my camera would never do these sights justice, today it didn't even have a chance...yep, I brought my camera case on our journey. CASE haha, void of any camera, however. The good news is: now I must go back to all these places to be reminded like I was today - how great is our God?

After our exciting travels this morning, we attended house church at Alfredo's house. Alfredo is a member of the church, and he is also my language teacher. We had never been to his house before, but when his dog, "Nacho" came running out the door, I knew we had found our meeting place today (he told me about Nacho in class previously). As Gerina and I left Alfredo's house, we began to make plans to get back to our house. We waited for a "combi," which is like a public bus, but then we started walking toward our house because it was getting dark. With the help of Parker's directions, we found ourselves in a part of town where we had never been. Not only were we lost, but when I asked for directions to la Calle San Juan de la Luna, none of the natives recognized this location??? We both began to get frustrated...eventually we found a taxi who thought he (might) know where our house was, and we got in. One of the richest parts of this experience so far has been adjusting to everything new. Seriously, nothing about life here is the same as my life I lived in the States just a few weeks ago. The good news is: my God is still the same. Pastures will change, but your Shepherd remains the same.

I could probably think of 1,000 pieces of good news...Can you think of any?

In our culture classes, Greg McKinzie has been walking us through figuring out what our gospel is. Is this gospel universal or does it change between cultures? Should the gospel change or only its presentation? It has been so interesting to dive into these concepts: not only foreign mission work, but even more so, the purpose of a believer: to share the good news!

About 2 weeks in, and LOVING it!

I wish I could express all that has happened in my time here so far. I find myself very busy, and when there is time to write on the blog I am at a loss for words.
The experience so far has been rich. We attend language and culture classes each day during the week. My mind is being stimulated in ways never known before. I assume I can't think of anything profound to say at this time because I have yet to understand what I am being taught.
I am thoroughly enjoying Spanish classes and I can see significant improvement in my speaking skills. One of our fellow interns, Lisette, left this past Saturday for 3 weeks. The other interns: myself, Gerina, Parker, Arielle & Aron have been continuing life here as normal, but we are excited for her to come back! One of the things I have enjoyed most so far in my time here is being part of a team. The body of Christ is more tangible to me here. The relationships we have here are so interwoven and intimate that it gives me a closeup of what the body of Christ (the church) looks like.
I will try to be better about updating the blog as I know some of you are eager to know what is going on here. However, you may not find out what you expecting to learn from me. Usually when people go on mission trips they have consistent reports for what they have done or projects they have completed. This "mission" is more of an internship, with emphasis being put on learning rather than doing. We are learning to BE missionaries rather than DO mission work. I am so thankful for our mentors who guide us in practice and reflection, practice and reflection...it is a constant cycle.
The thing about short term missions is that if you never go, you'll never go back. God is opening my eyes to new possibilities in the future. If you are praying for me, you could ask God to give me courage to follow where He is leading.
Thanks for your support. I appreciate you, and I need you the same way you need me: we are the body of Christ!